For Immediate Release:
ALTERRA MOUNTAIN COMPANY ANNOUCES NEW NAME FOR SQUAW VALLEY
Waterpark Valley USA! to be marketed worldwide
Olympic Valley, Calif. – The owners of Alterra Mountain Company gathered today in the parking lot of Squaw Valley to announce the new name for the famed ski resort: Waterpark Valley USA!
Flanked by executives of Alterra’s parent company, KSL Capital Partners, celebrity CEO Randy Mirth made the special announcement.
“I’ve always said that Tahoe is the last bastion of undercapitalized, undermanaged, and undermarketed grouping of resorts in North America. There is no place like Tahoe for opportunity,” Mirth told the crowd of Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows employees paid to be there.
Standing in front of the former movie theatre and bar first built for the 1960 Olympics known as the Far East Building, Mirth also held a ribbon cutting ceremony to celebrate the future demolition of the building and mark the actual placement of the 90,000 foot, 10-story tall indoor amusement-style waterpark.
“Partnering with Great Wolf Resorts to manage the base of the mountain, we can finally overcapitalize, overmanage, and specifically overmarket this resort with the new name,” Mirth told the shocked crowd. “Waterpark Valley USA! will be significantly easier to market to overseas tourists.”
When asked for comment, Sierra Watch Executive Director, Tom Mooers, was incredulous, “Hold on to your speedo, Mr. Mirth. The Tahoe loving community is not going let Alterra tear down the Olympics to build up a waterpark.”
After the conference, Randy Mirth was quick to follow-up, “We’ve been trying to build this waterpark in Squaw Valley – I mean Waterpark Valley USA! – for more than ten years.”
“Maybe if we start calling it Waterpark Valley USA!, then Sierra Watch will give up on their Keep Squaw True / Tahoe Truckee True mission and we can finally make John Muir proud by bringing the ultimate in amusement-style amenities to the Jewel of the Sierra,” he continued.
“As I’ve tried to tell the fine people of Tahoe, there’s nothing to do here in the summer,” chimed in KSL VP of Development, Cheevis Regal. “But with a name like Waterpark Valley USA!, everyone will know they can ‘send it’ off the tallest waterslides in the West!”
“Besides,” he droned on, “Squaw Valley has so much water, a lot of it wasted – as it flows through Squaw Creek and, shockingly, into the Truckee River. Wouldn’t we rather see that water flowing in an indoor lazy river than in an ol’ mountain stream?”
In their own press release, Sierra Watch reaffirmed their commitment to stop Alterra and KSL from complete buildout of the ski resort:
The leadership pushing KSL’s reckless development proposal may have changed, but the plans remain the same. Alterra still hopes to build a 90,000 square foot indoor waterpark with 1,500 new bedrooms in a series of highrise condos and hotel.
While the new name for Squaw Valley has yet to be announced, we must remain vigilant and remember how all this proposed development would threaten a region already dealing with threats to Lake Tahoe’s clarity, unsustainable traffic, dangerous evacuation routes in times of emergency, and drought.
To learn more about Sierra Watch’s commitment to responsible development in Squaw Valley, watch The Movie to Keep Tahoe True: https://youtu.be/Q_RdEW1IOMY
Stand with Sierra Watch and sign the Tahoe Truckee True petition today: https://sierrawatch.org/tahoe-truckee-true/action/
Read our announcement in support of finding a name for Squaw Valley that respects our shared history and everyone that comes to the valley for recreation, as well as on our updated Tahoe Truckee True campaign: https://sierrawatch.org/tahoe-truckee-true/name-change/
Happy April 1st!
About Sierra Watch
Sierra Watch works to protect great places in the Sierra Nevada. Founded in 2001, the Nevada City based non-profit has built a remarkable track record in land preservation in Tahoe’s Martis Valley, on Donner Summit, and for other treasured Sierra landscapes. For more information, visit www.sierrawatch.org.